Ramblings
by princess34marth
Summary: A collection of helsa one shots. I don't feel like making individuals stories for everything, so if isn't much more than Drabble, it will be posted here.
1. Mine

**ANGST ALERT! Short, sweet, sad. Oneshot (I MEAN IT I SWEAR). Modern AU, Helsa, Mature Language. The break up. Enjoy! Review! hugs and kisses - marth**

"That's mine."

"My bad, you're right." Hans dropped the clock onto the bed and moved on to the next item. This was a lot messier than he had imagined. Break ups were never easy, but Elsa was making it damn near impossible. Everything he touched was hers, and even if it wasn't, he didn't care. He just wanted to be out of her life. They had given it a good go, put their full effort into the relationship, but it just hadn't been enough. She never seemed to fully trust him, and he just wasn't a good enough man for her.

"This is yours, though." She tossed him the sweater that she had worn to bed every night for two years. He flinched; it seemed like she was using this as her last chance to inflict as much emotional scarring as she could. Hans sighed and shoved the worn sweater into his duffel bag. "And I'm keeping Olaf."

Hans felt his jaw clench. "Fine, he's yours." He would miss the sweet old dog they had rescued, but it if meant Elsa would be happier, he would just have to get over it.

"And this, I don't want this." Her voice had a bitter, angry tone as she threw a set of towels at him. There was a hair brush in there too, and when it struck him in the cheek, it stung.

"Come on, Elsa, act like a grown up. Just let me take my stuff and go."

Her eyes blazed with fury. "Oh, I'm the one that should act like a grown up? Me? I'm the one that should be mature, when you've never been anything but immature. You never clean, you never do anything to help me around the house, you always insult me like a fifth grader, you lie to me, you-"

"Elsa!" Hans nearly shouted. "There's no point in rehashing this. Shut up and let me go." He knew that the longer he stayed, the harder this would be. As angry as she made him, he still loved her and didn't want her to agonize over him for too long like he knew she would.

"No, you shut up! You want to leave so badly, I'll help you pack!" she was frantic now, and began tossing everything she could reach. "Your stupid shoes, your ugly sports coat, this fucking awful lamp that your bitch mother bought us, just take it!" The lamp crashed to the floor as she pushed it off the night stand, shattering the heavy stained glass shade that had colored their walls so many nights. She continued to rummage through the stuff on the floor, searching for more ammunition. "Just take your shit, Hans," she sobbed, "and get out of my fucking apartment."

"Elsa, stop, just calm down for a moment," Hans pleaded as he tried to climb over the debris to reach her.

"I won't calm down! I have every right to be mad as hell. You're breaking my heart, Hans. Did you even stop to think about me, about anyone other than yourself? Did you, Hans?" Her usually beautiful voice rose higher with every word, tears staining her cheeks and burning her lips. "Is that all you do, Hans? Lie? You lied to me, you lied to Anna, just," she pulled at her hair in frustration, then fumbled with a finger. "Here, this is yours, take your goddamn ring Hans, it's yours too." She ripped the diamond band off of her finger and whipped it at him, where it bounced uselessly off of his chest.

Finally he made it over the war zone that was his side of the room and tried to take hold of her forearms. Elsa fought him desperately, eventually resorting to hitting and slapping anywhere she could reach. He felt something wet and warm smear his face, and he realized that her hands were bleeding from digging through the glass on the floor. "Fuck you, Hans! I gave you my heart, I gave you everything! I hate you! I hate you, you bastard." Her anger spent, the shaking woman knees buckled and she nearly collapsed.

Hans clutched her to his chest and tried to hide his own trembling. He lifted her up and laid on the bed with her, never letting her leave his arms for a moment. When she drifted off in her exhaustion, he wept into her hair.

…

Elsa felt like she had a hangover when she finally woke. There was no trace of the fight before. There was no trace of the man she loved, either. The entire room was cleaned, the lamp removed, her hands cleaned and bandaged. A glass of water with a bottle of ibuprofen rested on the nightstand, along with a folded note. Her diamond band was taped inside, and her tears began anew as she set the paper to the side.

_My heart is yours, too._


	2. Prisoner

**Prisoner, so fluffy that I think I have diabetes now. Helsa, modern AU, oneshot, major fluff. Written for the last day of Iceburns week. Enjoy! - marth**

It had been almost four days since the last time he had a decent night's sleep. His eyes drooped, his hair was dirty, his clothes stained and ragged. A meager ration of coffee and the prison guard's breakfast leftovers were all he had eaten that day, and it was approaching noon. Hans yearned for freedom, for sleep, for peace, for ibuprofen. The ache in his joints was constant, barreling to the forefront whenever he dared move against the rigid piece of furniture he was confined to. Tired eyelids sagged for a fraction of a second before the guard reappeared with a new prisoner.

"Daddddy! No sleeping, you can't sleep in jail!" Hans willed his eyes open and up; his four year old was currently practicing her mother's glare. He feigned a grimace and moved against the back of the couch, trying to find a comfortable spot. Hanna had recently learned "Cops and Robbers" at preschool, and of course it was her new favorite game and of course mommy and daddy were the bad, bad robbers and Hanna was the all powerful cop. He restrained a snigger as Elsa took a seat beside him and patiently waited for their daughter to tie her hands behind her back with one of daddy's ties. It didn't seem like the brightest idea to let her have real handcuffs, especially if both of them were in "jail".

"Okay. Momma and Daddy stay in jail, don't move or else you're gonna be in trouble." The strawberry blonde toddler zipped back around the couch, undoubtedly on her way to stop her criminal stuffed "aminals".

Elsa yawned and slumped against him. "Why can't she just watch tv on mute or something? I'd like to sleep in past six at least once this decade." Her long blonde hair was thrown up in a haphazard bun, and an old t-shirt of his nearly covered her sleep shorts entirely. Even in exhaustion, Hans was proud of having such a beautiful wife.

"Come on, now, that wouldn't be any fun. You can sleep when you're dead," he chuckled and stretched his back, attempting to relax his protesting muscles. He could hear Officer Hanna scolding her stuffed rabbit Harpy over the babbling of the tv.

"At least you got the rest of her cereal. I haven't eaten anything yet, I'm starved. Do you think she would notice if I escaped from our cell?" Elsa struggled against the silk tie around her wrists, but it held tight. "Geez, what on earth possessed you to teach her sailing knots? Hans, untie this."

The redhead smirked. "I think I like you better this way." He easily released himself from the jump rope that bound his own hands, then leaned in dangerously close. "Are you my prisoner now?" he whispered in her ear. A light kiss on the cheek was all he managed before she nearly headbutted him. "Ouch, what the hell, Elsa?"

Elsa's eyes grew cold and her lips drew into a thin line. "That was a love tap. If you want to keep your tongue, I suggest you back up and go get me food, Westergard."

His smirk widened into a full blown grin. Hans leaned in closer, enough that Elsa flailed and fell over with a muffled shriek. "If you want to have your breakfast, I suggest you try being a little nicer, Westergard." He straightened and peeked over the top of the couch; Hanna had disappeared, probably into their room to watch tv. A quick sprint to the kitchen, some rummaging in cupboards, and then he ran back to the living room.

"You couldn't get milk?" Elsa complained. All he had managed was a box of cocoa puffs.

"She was using the big girl potty and almost saw me. Not a very good cop if her prisoners are escaping." He shoveled a handful of cereal into his mouth and rejoiced; who really needed milk, anyways?

"Hans."

"Oh, sorry." He wiped his hands, then deftly released Elsa from her bonds. The cereal box was passed back and forth, and they munched in silence, grateful for the calm.

"So, what are you in for?" he asked her with a serious look, a hint of gruffness in his voice.

Elsa giggled. "Oh, you know. Enforcing bedtime since Daddy is too easily manipulated by pouty faces. You?"

Hans smiled and chewed his cereal thoughtfully. "Probably because I wouldn't let her have pudding for breakfast. Not that this is much better for you." He glanced at the nutrition information on box and frowned. "God, no wonder I'm getting a pudge. This is pure sugar."

His wife laughed louder now, and patted his stomach. "It's okay, I'll still love you, pudge and all." Hans tucked the cereal box under the couch so that Hanna wouldn't be too suspicious, then loosely threw the tie around Elsa's hands again, but this time in front of her. She helped to retie his jump rope, and they relaxed against the back of the couch, which was feeling much more comfortable now that they weren't starving.

"Maybe Anna will watch her next weekend, and we can sleep in for a day." Hans thought out loud.

"That sounds marvelous, and it's been a while since her and Sven have had a play date." Elsa wriggled a bit and extended her legs so that they wouldn't fall asleep. "I'll call her later, after we serve our time."

"I think we should go check on our prison guard, she's too quiet." Hans murmured. The parents stood, discarded their bonds, and dusted the cereal crumbs from their pajamas, then tiptoed down the hall and craned their necks around their bedroom door.

Hanna was passed out it the middle of their bed, surrounded by stuffed animals and clutching her favorite rabbit to her small chest. Elsa padded over to the king sized bed and crawled in beside her daughter, careful not to wake her. Hans turned off the tv and joined them, laying across from his wife with his precious daughter in between them. He kissed each of their foreheads, smoothed Hanna's hair, and smiled as he drifted off to sleep.


End file.
